Our club mascot, the anonymous writer of all offensive club material, and the small plastic Lion that appears in the bottom of your pint if you are not paying attention.

ClarenceNAME – Clarence The North London Lion

NICKNAME/S – Clarence, You Little Prick, The Lion, and on one or two occasions ‘Oi dunnae know who you lads are or what ya’all up to, but ya better get that thang outta of me pint quick smart’

DATE OF BIRTH - Anzac Day, 1999

MARITAL STATUS – On the prowl

PREVIOUS FOOTY CLUBS - Zippo.  Seriously, have you seen the other Aussie Rules clubs in London?

WHY YOU LIVE IN LONDON – The pints, the skirt, the travelling, the food, the weather, the NHS, the public housing, and the high quality of football.  In that order.

BEST PIECE OF SPORTING ADVICE YOU EVER RECEIVED - Try not to walk into blind people on the footpath.  And  also that the night buses don’t actually let you stay on all night, even if you are asleep.

BEST FOOTY MEMORY (SO FAR) – 2001 / 2002 Premierships.  The Rootmaster bus running into a bridge mid-pub crawl was also a highlight. Closely followed by the epic Lions session outside The Chester Arms when it was repossessed on the day we were due a big BBQ.

MOST EMBARASSING FOOTY MEMORY (SO FAR) – It’s not mine specifically, but there have been some pretty horrific skulling attempts along the way.  I’ve seen strange faces pulled, i’ve seen tears, i’ve seen cramps, i’ve seen coughing, and I’ve seen more than my fair share of sick.  And that was just Azza.

ALL TIME FAVOURITE FOOTY TRIP – Hard to pick them apart.

SEASONS PLAYED WITH THE LIONS – 10+

WHY YOU JOINED THE LIONS IN LONDON – I tried joining a local American football team, but there were too many Americans.  So I tried a rugby club instead, but then there were too many Kiwi’s.  Finally I tried an Ultimate Frisbee team, but they were all wankers.  Basically it came down to Aussie Rules or Darts, and back in the day darts just wasn’t as much fun as it is now.  So Aussie Rules and the North London Lions it was.

LION MOST LIKELY TO NEVER LEAVE LONDON – That would be me.  I’m here as long as the Lions are.

THE TEAM (IN LONDON) THAT YOU ARE MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO THUMPING NEXT YEAR – All of them, for different reasons.  In the post game boat races as well as on the field.  I just really, really dislike them all.